Ethan's Adoption Story

I was updating our list of favorite blog posts and realized that I have never told the story of Ethans Adoption. It's a long one so get comfortable.

It was 2008. We had been in the "Adoption Pool" with LDSFS for a year. We had been married for six years and were very anxious about starting our family. We started looking into private agencys and signed up with one. We were matched with a Birth Mom from Chicago, due in April with a Baby Boy. We were so excited. Finally we were getting a Baby.

This is a journal entry of mine:

About a week and two weeks ago we got an email form an LDS birth mom (not the one we were matched with from Chicgo)who had a few questions for us. We answered her questions and sent the email back to her. A few days later we were amazed when we got another email from her with a few more questions. We answered her questions and felt that she needed to know that we had already been matched with another birthmom Linda so we decided to tell her.


Many days went by so we thought that she was no longer interested in us and felt she was on her way to the next family.

Things had been a little crazy with our birthmom from Chicago. She always mentioned money and how she does not have enough money to buy food. Wednesday 1/23/2008 night Brett and I strongly felt like we needed to back out of the adoption with Linda. It was kind of strange to give up something we have wanted for so long. When I got home from work Thursday night We called our caseworker and told her we were backing out. Only a few hours later our caseworker from LDS called us and asked us how things were going with Linda. We told her that we decided it was not right and backed out of it. She said that we had a few birth moms that had been interested in us this week and she needed to know how things were going before she could tell them we were available. She then said that she would let us know by Monday if anyone wanted to meet us.

We got kind of excited again with the possibilities of being chosen so quickly. About a 1/2 hour went by from our call with our LDS caseworker and she called us back saying that Kirsten the birthmom from LDSSS had chosen us to adopt her baby and wanted us to meet with her this Thursday. We were amazed. She said that Kirsten had come into the Provo agency Thursday saying Brett and Rebecca is my Family. I don't want to look at anyone else but Brett and Rebecca, they are my family. She had prayed about us when she got the email from us telling her about Linda. She strongly felt we were her family and that she wanted us. She is a Senior in High School, she's from the Sandy area, Her Family is very supportive of her placing the baby for adoption, she knows that she is carrying the baby for us and the Father is willing to waive his rights now. It sounds too good to be true, I know. But there is something about this baby that feels so much better and right.

We find it ironic that we decided to back out of the adoption with Linda and shortly after making that decision we got the call from LDS. If we had not backed out of the adoption with Linda, Kirsten would have had to chose another family. We feel that the Lord was with us helping us make the right decision.

She is only about 12 weeks pregnant. Six more months. When our caseworker told us that my heart sunk. I was hoping that she was closer to her due date. Six months is a long time to be on a firm hold with a birth mom, but Brett and I feel so good about this baby and birth mom we are willing to wait.

We are so excited! Sorry this email turned out to be so long Its really good news and we feel so much better about this baby.

We have an appointment to meet with her and her parents tonight. We're a little scared, but very excited.

The next week we drove to Sandy to meet Kirsten and her Parents face to face. I was so worried about what to say, what to do. Would it be aquward etc, etc, etc.... I was SOOOO nervouse. What if she did not like us???? As we walked down the hallway, to the room we would meet, it seemed like it was a mile long. Then we got to the door and it opened and there She was. All my fears went away. We talked for about 2 and a half hours. It was like we knew them already. 

At the meeting Kirsten said that she wanted us to be involved in the pregnancy. She invited me to ALL of her Dr. appointments, we were invited to family gatherings, her graduation, and many visits. They really made us feel like we were family.

The Birth Father wanted to meet us and that was all. He did not wanted to be involved in the process. We met him and his Parents one Sunday afternoon and have not had much contact with them since. His Mom made Ethan a quilt and has sent a few letters.

The Dr. Apointments were so much fun. I'd take the afternoon off of work and head up to SLC for her appointments. For me, It was SO special to be able to experiance hearing his heart beat, being there for the sonogram etc. I am so thankful that I was able to be that involved. After the appointments Kirsten and I would do something after. Often times we would go to Barnes & Noble and pick out a childrens book for him. We went to lunch a bunch of times and even went to Babies R Us and picked out an outfit for him.

As her due date came closer we really felt like family. Kirsten and I went to her 39th Dr. Apointment and her amniotic fluid was low. The Dr. decided to schedule Kirsten for induction the next morning. That day was Kirstens Dad's Birthday. We already had plans to go to dinner with them. It was so much fun. It was kind of like our last Hurrah before Ethan was born.

Brett and I could hardly sleep that night. Kirsten invited us to the hospital and invited me to be there for the birth. As we drove to the hospital it was kind of like the day we got married. Then we were saying "Can you Believe that we are getting married TODAY?" But this time it was "Can you believe that our baby is being born TODAY?" We got to the hospital around 8:15 and the nurses had already started the Pitocin. I was so worried about Kirsten, I really wanted the delivery to be as easy on her as it could. Kirsten was amazing. She was calm and collected. Ethan was born at 5:35 pm at 7 lbs 14 oz 21 inches long. 

I will never forget the first time I saw him and held him in my arms.

I was asked to go tell Brett and Kirstens Dad that he was born. When I walked into the room they thought that something had gone wrong because I was crying so hard.

Two days later we went back to the hospital for placement. After exchanging gifts and spending time with Kirsten and her Parents, they placed him in my arms.

We love having an open adoption with Her and her Family. We get together about once a month. They are such wonderful people. We are forever grateful for them and to have them in our lives.