Today I went on a walk on my last day here in Alaska. I've had many things on my mind and a few sleepiness nights. I don't usually post on my blog about things like this,
BUT It's my blog... RIGHT!?!
I'm not looking for any sobs or anything like that. I've just had the impression that I should post something like this a few times.
Then today while driving in the car,
the song on the radio was THIS
We have been on a roller coaster since we have submitted our adoption papers. We submitted them well over a year ago. There has been MANY times where someone we know, knows a Girl who is pregnant and thinking about placing. We throw our little "Pass Along Cards" at them to give to Her or Him and such. A little hope... wait a few weeks...... don't hear anything..... . A few times our caseworker will call us about a situation. "There is a Girl who is due next week. Do you want your profile to be presented to her?" We've said "YES" every time. Pray, hope, excitement. ... then our caseworker would say "You should hear something within a week." More prayers.... A week goes by and "Oh, she picked another family" or "She decided not to place" .....There have been times we have had hope for a different baby every week for a month and a half. We've thought about going through a private agency. Typically with a private agency you can be matched with a baby within two or three months. The cost for a private agency ranges between 13,000 and 45,000 depending on health, race, background etc, etc, etc... AHH. Last week we submitted an application for a little boy who would likely be born with FAS.
No luck there. .....
I had many things to think about during my walk today. My Husband and I have always talked about trying to have our children two years apart. That has been a little tricky for us. Ethan will turn 3 next month (my, how has time flown by so fast?????). I just keep thinking how far apart will He be from his siblings? If having their ages close together is important to us, should we apply for another loan and adopt a baby through a private agency? Will we be picked by a Birth Mother through LDSFS? Should we look into Foster Care?
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When I got home from my walk, I checked my email and found an email from a private agency.
Desiree CC girl due 8.1.11 $43,700 Total fee (includes legal in Colorado), early in preg. marijuana use and used meth 4 times in beginning, smokes ½-1 pack per day, in a treatment program being drug tested regularly has stayed clean, NEED Utah family
Sarah CC boy Due 8/10/11 $45,700 includes Iowa legal smokes ½-1 pack/day, has a learning disability
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4 comments:
Wow Becky....I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time with this! I wish I had any words of wisdom that would make all of this easier for you guys. All I can say is continue to pray, fast, and attend the temple, and somehow the Lord will let you know what you should do. Whatever happens, just know that you two are AMAZING parents, and Ethan (and any future children) is so lucky to be in your home! My prayers are with you guys! Let me know if there is anything I can do. Love you!!
Oh Becca! I'm sorry to hear what you and Brett are going through! I know you are strong parents and Heavenly Father is aware of your needs. Our prayers and thoughts are with you! You know I LOVE you to pieces and think the world of you. You are the best mom and a shining example to me. Love you tons!!
Becky, my heart breaks for you. We are just not being approved and published online in the next day or two and I am just planning on a very long wait. Adoption is such a hard challenge to go through but we both know the rewards that come from the journey. The first time around I cried all the time and the minute I held my daughter in my arms I realized it was all worth it. I'm always here if you need to talk. I'll be right there sharing in your struggles as our wait will begin as well. The right child will come to your home. Hugs.
Love ya, Becky! And I'm emailing you right now. :)
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